Email usyour questions for Dr. Sherry now and be sure to include Ask Dr. Sherry in the subject line. Turns out it wasnt even his kid (thats another story), but she showed up at his work, called him repeatedly in the middle of the night, and physically assaulted his friends girlfriend in a parking lot. Jimmy and Susie are in love. Steve, I dont think you should waste your energy getting so fired up about this. Especially the children. Whats your personal experience with forced fatherhood, no say over an abortion or crippling child support? She left me for him and and now wants me back. If he wore a condom and if she was on the pill, hes an idiot because what? Yes, he should have realized this was a possibility. Everyone experiences the ups and downs of a relationship differently, and the same goes for breakups. The adoption process has a pretty involved vetting procedure- meaning that birth parents can reasonably assume the child will be cared for by the adoptive parent or parents. religiously wear condoms. Call me crazy, but I dont see any partys reaction to this crazy. Gain some maturity and realize that you have no part in this decision, shes decided to keep the baby, shes the one who will be carrying the baby, raising the baby, etc Grow up LW and dump him. Everyone in this situation sounds like they belong on Jerry Springer. Surely you know that So if you want to hate women for having child support, why dont you hate the men who skipped town. Girls can get caught up in emotions and run wild with feels sometime devilish innocent Established Member Established Members My Ex-girlfriend says she misses me. There is no 100 percent way to prevent pregnancy. I mean, hey, we certainly couldnt be any more careless or reckless with this precious gift than women keep on proving to be, landygirl female Blood is not everything. As for you LW, Im not even sure exactly what youre asking. Oh, may be you should marry him and fantasize what kind of fun he is having whenever hes late coming home, or fearful he would leave you when you, like that woman, passed 40; or be told to get rid of your baby who is inconvenient to him. He doesnt have to have a relationship with her, but like it or not, if hes a real man, he will be there for HIS child, and even his ex. And those young boys and those young boys parents have wages garnished for the next 18 years to pay for the rapists child. Its easy to think the guy is a scumbag for not wanting to be a dad. I take it, then, that your position is that a man should never ever have sex unless hes either (a) sterile, or (b) willing to raise the possible resulting child and/or pay for that child for a couple of decades, but that a woman has those choices but also can opt for an abortion and so can opt out of the obligation of a child. Its not fair to create a child and then abandon it. .of F****** Idiots. Imagine that you get to design a law that will allow fairness no matter which of these happens. Ill never understand the chicks who want to blame/curse/fight the other woman like the dude has no part in the whole mess. When you two were engaged, he cheated and had a child by another woman. I just want her to know so that she won't expect anything like my boyfriend marrying him. ESSENCE.com is part of ESSENCE Communications, Inc. People have told me-on the "adult" forums-that I speak aggressively", but I don't mean it that way. I dont think you have the maturity to deal with this sort of complexity so I would peace out for the sake of everyone involved, especially the baby. April 9, 2012, 8:29 pm. I know youre just trying to tell us that the little scroat wont be able to trap him, buttttt it looks like you cant hold onto him either? I cant see how anyone would be upset with a man who agrees with that statement and concludes that he has every right to walk away from the whole situation. They shouldnt just play house for the sake of the kid. No matter how many precautions you take, if a pregnancy occurs you have to accept that its because of what you did and accept full responsibility for your actions. It is scummy though. Three babies? You want to be a slave to a prick like him? Story. Susie and Jimmy find themselves in the same predicament only Jimmy is thrilled because hes enlisting and being deployed overseas. And as far as that man saying that he wants nothing to do with the woman or THE BABY shame on him. Thank God for the laws in place protecting children against men like you. Thats why in rear-end situations, the second driver is liable, right? So, this man had sex with a women while he was unattached and not under any commitment, and that makes him scum?. That wont solve anything. If the woman chooses to take on the responsibility of raising the child alone, she ought not have the right to force the indentured servitude (financial or otherwise) of the father against his stated wishes. April 10, 2012, 7:10 pm. The last 15 girlfriend jokes It's bro's before hoes, not bro's over your girlfriend. Steve Kellmeyer This is my first time posting on here but I really need some advice. Any woman who cant see the pleasure in such a sacrifice is too selfish to be in a relationship. LOL. We started dateing again and have been for about 3 months and we have plans to save money and get an apartment. Problem. Hes obligated to financially support the baby, which he is willing to do. April 9, 2012, 4:59 pm, FancyPants it comes across really condescending and I think it makes people take your reasoning less seriously. let us know if he had). Ill never leave you. Then the day we got back from this amazing vacation, he broke up with me through email! April 10, 2012, 6:28 pm. reader, TELLULAH+, writes (25 January 2008): A Ummm sorry your comparison is ridiculous because in that case its 100% the fault of the person eating at the restaurant. Even when they both want the same thing. You can leave this dude, try to learn to live life on your own, try to show compassion toward your fellow women, and try to learn to identify unhealthy relationships straight away, before you find yourself embroiled in more soap-opera style theatrics. Thats nature, Tim. April 9, 2012, 10:46 am, Im not even sure how to address this letter, so I guess step by step is a good way to go. Get tested for an std too because your love obviously did not use a condom. Id drop this guy in a heartbeat. He had sex, she got pregnant, presumably its his, and hell provide support. Or could CG be right, and this is all a hoax? Please help. Until thats legally extended as you propose any man who doesnt exercise that option has no one to blame but himself when he becomes a parent. LOL What? You dont have an obligation to be faithful to an ex-girlfriend or boyfriend! If he didnt want to make a baby, he should have been wearing condoms or not having sex at all. He found someone relatively fast and quick, and jumped in the bed with her. Her mother supported her and helped raise my sister for the first couple of years. All magically on the pill? Ive done that on a number of occasions. Is it any wonder that 40% of the kids born today are bastards? And, like an immature asshole, he decides he doesnt want to own up to his responsibility. He says he cant stand her? Wrap it up or dont serve burgers, thtas the only choice YOU have. Steve Kellmeyer Privacy Policy. If the woman wants to have a child, then she can, but thats a decision she makes because its happening in her own body. lets_be_honest And those rapists who raped them get the money? But you have to take a deep breath and be an adult about it, seriously. Addie Pray Youre right, it could be unenforceable. I think this would cut down on a LOT of baby mama drama with regards to accusations of women getting pregnant on purpose or trapping me with a baby. Because no matter how much we feminists on here hate that bullshit, it DOES happen. I blocked his number, but 2-3 weeks laterhe was calling me from his job, calling me through Facebook, and calling me from a private number. I wanted to punch my computer screen while reading this and was so afraid the comments would not say what you are saying. By the way, there was no implication that it makes it easy for the woman to get child support. This discussion sure got crazy though! evanscr05 Have you noticed how people sometimes own up to having unprotected sex, but its always when they didnt get pregnant? This whole thing could have been prevented that way. He says fine, Ill support you financially, but really I dont wanna be a dada. After a breakup, Bird said, some people just need "an emotional cutoff and want to remove all evidence of their ex from their life.". It doesnt involve any weird semi-involvement; but rather a clean break for the child and a chance to build a happy, loving life with a set of great parents. Our resident male troll is back and defending his gender. Iwannatalktosampson Furthest from the vagina, just saying. But I agree no one should tell anyone what they can and cant do with their own bodies. rainbow April 9, 2012, 9:30 pm. Even SCOTUS pointed that out. honeybeenicki She isnt a woman he wants to be with his entire life. Offset Changes Instagram Avatar to Takeoff Photo After His Death. Now, again, I dont see why it is so hard to let him go, and why you cant move on. April 9, 2012, 7:25 pm, I agree. But youre too stupid/gullible to be angry at him. I am not entirely sure how this applies when the kids are not the product of both people, but when it is mom, dad, junior and junette junior and junette do not always come first, always. While it is true he has no obligation to someone hes broken up with, he does have an obligation to not go around making babies with women he doesnt even know. Not with hormonal BC, not with 2 methods of BC, not when one of the individuals has been sterilized. Steve Kellmeyer As a child who was raised by my mother and saw neither hair nor hide of my biological father, who diligently paid child support, Ive turned out for the better. He made his feelings clear to her when she was only two weeks pregnant, telling her they havent been together two minutes! Both of those things cant be true, LW. Of. And more amazement with people who just cant live without a relationship with someone who has no concern about coitus with people outside of matrimony with people they just met.. & he tells me now, the mother agreed to take the child & look after the child, & he will leave the baby mama for me, because he loves me. I appreciate the points youre trying to make. Good times. if she has a miscarriage because he's back with you, your fault. A kid is not a building. I get unsettled and frustrated whenever I see my ex girlfriend's photos on Facebook with her boyfriend and pictures of the ultrasound of their baby. Your boyfriend is a scumbag and you should probably not have anything to do with him. And he shouldnt, either. I hope you make sure he gets tested for STIs before you sleep with him again. If I got pregnant by a guy who begged me to have one, I would tell him if he doesnt want this child he can just fuck off and I will raise him/her but I will not kill my own child for him. I think the LW comes across as bitter and resentful and would rather blame the other woman, making her out to be the villain, than to admit that she and her ex really might not belong together. But, the real reason you cant let go is because you feel bad that youve invested 4 years into this relationship hoping it would lead to something, and all you got is heartbreak, and him getting another woman pregnant. And fools are welcome to the horror you and your ilk inflict upon them. but all those prominent male politicians usually turn out to be gay and not hetero at all.. bittergaymark Are women less able to care and provide in todays society? Any advice for me?Signed, AnonymousDear Sis,News Flash: This man is not and has never been your man. So your boyfriend said he wants nothing to do with his own child (except the required child support) and that didnt make you run screaming the other way? bittergaymark She told him she got pregnant on the pill, which I think is a lot of cod wallopBut I think shes tried to trap him and hes untrappable. Hes scum because he abandoned a woman he impregnated.. Its still good advice if the letter his fake, actually, since there certainly are people in this situation. So, he feels it is best to make things work with her for the sake of his baby. I feel stupid once again and a part of me feels that he may come back to me again and I really dont want to be involved, but Im so weak and dont know how to let go. He could have been one of those unforunate souls that DID protect himself, even with the womans added protection, and it still resulted in a child. Because thats really not that old. Its all the adults running away being irresponsible, generally stupid, and downright insane that make this situation such a mess. Come on! His character and judgment are awful. ReginaRey April 10, 2012, 9:34 am. For someone who cant stand a woman and does not want to have a child you think he would make slightly more responsibly decisions. I think this is a very fair and reasonable response, I wonder if she will think so too. Instead of re-commenting this in the 23 different places above where it applies, Ill say it here (again): Why is everyone assuming he didnt use a condom? and our They dont want to have spirited logical debate, they want to vent and lash out at people. Who then supports the child that the man made? Here 13 common reasons guys start missing and try to go back to their ex. April 9, 2012, 11:41 am. No clearly this is a brilliant way to be supported for life. April 10, 2012, 7:06 pm. Given that fact base, why wouldnt a woman who wanted a baby (but not a husband) entrap a suitable donor? im just annoyed that so many people (at least many of the LWs here) act as if birth control or std prevention isnt something they need to worry about. What should I do, View related questions: Its crazy how much abject hatred there is out there. reader, Lisa Belize+, writes (22 September 2009): A That makes her a scumbag, but it really doesnt absolve you of being the parent for that child. Though I doubt thats what they really believe. I know exactly what child support means, and you are discussing the post-birth situation, where there actually is a child who actually needs support. That goes for women as well. A scumbag? Yep. The court considers the psychological effects on the child before ordering support. If its not easy and its not what one wants, opt out of it. If he doesnt do this, and the woman gets pregnant anyways, he needs to show maturity and be responsible for his decisions. It is amazing to me to see the vitriol that men are carrying on with talking about paying money towards the health and well being of a child that they helped create. April 9, 2012, 11:00 am. reader, marissa0916+, writes (26 August 2015): A Sleeping without protection with someone who you knew for two minutes ?
Body Found In Providence River,
Zombies Quiz What Character Are You,
Articles W
we broke up and he got another girl pregnant
You must be hunter funeral home whitmire, sc obituaries to post a comment.